This Might Not Exist
It may be the case that there isn't a canonical-enough reference to satisfy your particular needs. You'll likely end up with a list resources, each of which is strong in certain aspects, and weak in others. e.g. Microsoft's patterns are up-to-date and expansive, but are the delivered in the context of proprietary software. ui-patterns.com is more open, but less expansive and up-to-date (though I'm not sure how much I agree with you on this) Another problem you face is that new and emerging patterns often haven't acquired a name that's even generally agreed upon, let alone canonical.
Pick and Stick, Stay Consistent
The general advice that emerges from questions like this on ux.stackexchange is to pick those resources that most closely meet your requirements and declare those your own canonical references. Internally at least, it's more important that you remain consistent in your reference to a pattern, than that you're all using the absolute, universal, and "correct" name for it.
Do It Yourself
This might mean creating your own reference that fills in the gaps between the external sources you choose. You could even use ui-patterns.com to do this. The platform already exists. You could contribute to the the public library and increase its relevance and freshness, and at the same time create your own collection of patterns in an organized and open manner.