Before attempting any diagram of this sort, you have to carefully consider and define the visual language to be used.
Your first graph has 6 different graphical "tokens" (4 different box types, 2 different line types), where the second has 9 (!) (5 different box types and 4 different line types).
So I'd recommend reducing the alphabet - use the same graphics for every page and unless critical - same arrow styles.
State or Process Centred?
Your's is a graph diagram - it has nodes and edges between them. Such diagrams can communicate a host of 'concepts', which can be assigned to nodes or edges, and may include:
- control flow;
Your's depict state (the pages) and process (the actions), and these are assigned to nodes and edges respectively, but figuring this out was not instant.
In your diagram, in order to label actions you have used boxes on the edges. Despite the style variation, it is hard to tell whether your diagram is:
- Process centred (node are for process)
- State centred (nodes are for state)
Initially, one can easily confused the box
Zoom In with another state and you need to verb to infer this is an action that relates to the edge.
You will probably make the diagram clearer by simply putting these labels next to the edges, not as boxes on the edges.
That should at least get you started, if you submit a 3rd revision we can iterate from there. It would also help if you explain the 'View' rounded rectangle.