I am working for a loan provider and am preparing a rejection page, when we are not able to provide loan to our customers due to their bad credit score.

This is very delicate situation and i was wondering how to ease the situation. Do you think the usage of 'X' icon is appropriate since it can have negative connotation?

enter image description here

  • This isn't really a question that can be answered, it's a request for some feedback on a particular design. That's not really what this site is designed for. If there's a specific aspect of this design that isn't working then we can help find a solution to that, if you can provide the details of what the issue is. – JonW Jan 23 '18 at 10:51
  • Thanks, for the comment, i updated the text - i am not sure about the messaging – Jakub Jan 23 '18 at 10:59
  • OK, I've reopened your question, but you were posting two different questions in one post, so in order to keep things focussed I've cleared out the alternative more subjective aspect of your post. One free piece of separate advice though - white text on light-blue (and vica-versa) is going to be an accessibility fail, so I'd suggest sorting out some better contrast there. – JonW Jan 23 '18 at 11:14
  • would a smiley ease it? there's a lot of psicology on this. – CptEric Jan 23 '18 at 11:46
  • You might want to have a writer and a graphic designer work on the text. For example, the line breaks cause confusion: "We cannot offer you [a] loan. Right now, contact us in a few months." – Ken Mohnkern Jan 23 '18 at 17:44

I think the design you proposed draws attention to the wrong parts of the page for your goal.

Currently due to the pop-out of the 'X' and the boldness of the letters 'We cannot offer you [a] loan', your user is being drawn to clear messages of rejection from you. They are seeing that you are saying no, but the objective reasoning for 'why' is tucked away below (their credit score is much lower than your required limits).

I think the credit score should be front and center. If the first (and main) thing they see is 'credit score: 22' (perhaps the color of the '22' could be changed based on the 'badness' of their score) than that gives them the message that they have a bad credit score and that it is lower than your limit - they are not subjectively being told no by a company but they did not meet objective requirements. And then you can tell them that 'unfortunately' their credit score is lower than the required limits and you are unable to offer them a loan at this time.

I think the fact that you link them to ways to improve their credit score is a great idea though. Rejection/failures are best given with a direction for the user to move forward. In this particular case, offering advice of ways to improve their score or offering contact information to get advice for how to improve their score is valuable feedback.

As @Ken Mohnkern mentioned, definitely get a professional writer to edit your text.

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