I'm sorry, but it's a myth that iPhone styles have "set the rules of UX on mobile". They have put a lot of budget behind marketing and they've created a loyal following of app developers.
But it's extremely important to remember that they have a relatively small market share.
See here: Guardian article
and here: Global smartphone penetration by region
Symbian has a huge market share and when it's gone Windows will probably take its place.
Designing your mobile site for iPhone is like designing solely for Internet Explorer. Not only is it bad practice in the short term, it helps to establish bad practices going forward.
If you're looking for a starting point in terms of styling, it's worth looking at the Sencha or Jquery Mobile libraries.
Building a W3C widget using Phonegap allows you to create one build that ports to multiple platforms. Users' devices will interpret the code accordingly.
No one is going to "set the rules". Strive to deliver interfaces that meet user and business requirements and your products will stand a good chance of succeeding.